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Day 56 of 365

I want to start out by saying that although I'm continuing to do this challenge/ adventure it doesn't mean that I'm not struggling with the emotions of last Friday. I'd like to mention a few things that have helped me in the last couple of days. First and always is my husband. He is a rock and when I'm at my very worst he somehow manages to be there. Secondly I have to mention a few resources, although I don't think about suicide the darkness of depression is looming and not just for me. I have been solid for so very long but last week really shook me. I reached out to people and places that would talk me through. National hotlines like 1-800-273-8255 and Hopeline a 24/7 texting hotline text "HOPELINE ” to 741741 are always available and free. It is very humbling and as proud as I am I'm not so proud to admit that I'm struggling. Being brave.

If you ask me, I'm not okay but I'm also not pretending to be either. I'm not going to be there for you. I'm not sorry because I need to care for myself today. The people who have emailed and messaged me, thank you. I love you for listening and for being heard.

Now that I've explained where I am today. Somehow in my hustle to accomplish a lot on my day off I hardly accomplished a thing. I was cleaning up a mess that I made and that gave me a brilliant idea. I was mowing the grass, trying to occupy my mind. As I parked the mower in the barn I knocked over a box and found a bunch of parts for a light that I wanted repurpose. I'm amazed at the way the universe is working for me right now. Even as I write this I'll admit that I thought day 55 was my last adventure. Knocking over that box of crap gave me another day.

Originally I got the idea online when I was putting together the 365 day idea list. There's a ton of mason jars in my basement and I've had an old blue ball jar filled with equally as old buttons. I want to use them for something.

Lightbulb!! Literally.

So I brought in the pieces I needed and dumped the rest of that box. I took the top of a jar and painted it black and drilled a hole large enough for the lamp base to fit through. This cord and assembly were from a hanging light so the switch is built in to the bulb base. I connected it all together and was happy that the weight of the buttons created a pretty stable base for the light. Embracing the antique feel of the jar and buttons I splurged and got one of those really cool Edison bulbs. This one happens to be LED and it looks pretty cool lit and unlit. I was going to try and make a shade for it but I'm not going too.

What's really cool about this, and I thought of it after the fact, if you make it from a two part lid & jar ring you could paint them different colors to change it up. Not only that if you want them for a party of for camping then entire assembly could be flipped around and stored inside the jar. I might have to go to the goodwill and grab a couple more lamps to repurpose this repurpose idea.

Day 56 turned itself around

Love & Lots of Light

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